And the Wheels Are Off

I want to introduce you all to a young man from Liberty City,Texas named Mr. Taylor Tehan. Found on facebook as Jacques Louis-Marie Proust. Tehan has been living in Paris since January/February and in turn as been here for many different guide crews spring/summer/and now fall. After giving all the tours we offer for 9 months now, Tehan has decided it is time to go home, briefly. For his final departure he organized a final night out on the town with the whole squad. After a 3 page toast he gave to all his co-workers of past and present we all walked the tour route we give everyday and took turns giving our own versions of each speech. Because there are no open container laws in this great city, it was just a progressive traveling party through the historic streets of Paris. Not your standard night tour by any means. Graham started the night off at the Eiffel Tower. Pretty cool at night isnt it? Its’ colored like that for the Rugby World Cup that is being held here right now. It is usually all gold at night. Anyways, this stop kind of set the tone for the night. We were all heckling him with all the stupid bullshit questions that people come up with everyday on our tours and that would continue at every stop.



I was up next with my stop at the Dome Church. This is where Napoleon B. is buried. I won’t go into any more history for you all because I do that everyday. But here are a few pics from my schpeel. Much more effective with a bottle of champagne as I’m sure you can imagine, yet still distracting with someone standing behind you pissing into the moat surrounding the 300+ year old building. That’s Tehan by the way.



Here we are on the other side of the Dome Church down inside the moat in front of Les Invalides. Andy and Mike would begin their speech from within the moat but we would soon be run out be security who had the police on their way. We had to quickly launch people from our shoulders to get them all out of the moat and then somehow Mike, one of my managers, got out last. From here we would run like hell to the next stop



Next, it was Bens turn from Pont Alexander Trois (Alexander III Bridge). Now if you know Ben, which most all of you do, you know he is one for theatrics. In the spirit of saying goodbyes from Paris, Ben would rewrite Elton John’s farewell tribute to Diana… to Tehan. This is probably the 4th or 5th time I have seen Ben sing so far on this trip so usually its just another night out with him. But this time is different because I can finally share it with you all so here ya go.





Here is Eliza rapping about the Place de la Concorde. This is about the point in the night where Adam would start dropping trou and dancing in front of whoever was talking. Pretty Entertaining.



Next up was the Louvre. This stop was Tehans. He would give his whole speech in a snoody Frenchie accent. Basically like a fruitcake. Funny as hell though. After that we went for the human pyramid. Lucky for us all on the bottom it only took like 5 takes to finally get it right. We were all well on our way to B.O.C. by now so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Notice how we perfectly replace the actual pyramid behind us. Just Tour Guidin…



The rest of the night was full of impromptu toast and cheers, late night Grecs (sandwiches), a stop at Notre Dame where Glenn would talk and say more than all of us knew combined, and finally would end at the Highlander, a cave bar that stays open until 6 a.m.